Showing posts with label stolen story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stolen story. Show all posts

Sunday






date





1 February 2010 17:30
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--from Gus--


I heard the chruch got organ money but now needs roof money. The other night, lying in bed next to a friend she heard me say, in my sleep, "english breakfast tea please" and as did i, i woke myself up saying it and laughed my head off ha ha ha ha






BREAKFAST IN BED
by Joe Fiorito


The Inuit greet face to face, but they don't rub noses, exactly, and you shouldn't call it kissing. It is a form of greeting every bit as intimate as a kiss, but it goes deeper than that; it's a way for friends to take in each other's smell. It's how friends fill the empty places caused by absence.

Smell is fundamental to happiness. I know a man who travels with a piece of his wife's clothing sealed in a plastic bag. When the separation is too much to bear, he opens the bag and breathes.

Traces of this signature mark our sheets and pillows; this is what makes crawling into bed on a cold night such a comfort.

Smell is one of the many nameless things you miss when love goes wrong. That smell will linger, it will haunt you and exhaust you long after your lover has gone.

Think I'm exaggerating? Wake up early one Sunday and smell the person sleeping next to you. Do it. Lean over. The side of the neck will do, just below the ear. Take a deep breath. The knowledge of this scent is lodged in the deepest part of your brain.

Breathe deeply, if only to remind yourself of why you are where you are, doing what you're doing.

Now go into the kitchen. Throw two eggs into a bowl with a cup of milk and a cup of flour. Add a quarter teaspoon of salt and a tablespoon of melted butter. Mix until smooth, but don't overdo it.

Pour the batter into buttered muffin tins, filling the cups no more than half-full. Put the tins in a cold oven. Turn the heat to 450 F. After fifteen minutes, turn the oven down to 350 F. Wait for fifteen minutes more.

This recipe comes from the Fannie Farmer Baking Book by Marion Cunningham. It's an important book, with clear recipes and much new thinking. For example, prior to Marion, popovers were always started in a hot oven. This is a small thing, but one which changed my life.

While you're changing yours, make some coffee and squeeze a couple of oranges. Do what you want with a pear or a pineapple. Get a tray ready to take back to bed.

Now open the oven. It will make you smile. They don't call these things popovers for nothing. They look like little domes, golden brown and slightly crisp on the outside. The texture inside is as soft as your partner's neck. The smell is just as warm and every bit as earthy.

Take them out of the muffin tins and put them in a basket. They'll steam as you break them open. Eat them with a little butter and the best jam or honey in the cupboard. A soft camembert isn't out of place if you have it.

Breakfast together is the second or third most intimate thing you can share. If someone new is sleeping over and you want to make an impression, make these. If you're worried about what to talk about while you're eating, remember what Oscar Wilde said. Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.

If you haven't got a partner, make popovers anyway. It's easy enough to cut this recipe in half. It's good practise. It's its own reward. The butter melts into the jam and the sun pours onto your breakfast bed. And you have another way to fill the emptiness caused by absence.




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From Comfort Me With Apples: Considering the Pleasures of the Table (Nuage Editions, 1994), a delectable collection of Joe Fiorito's vintage Hour food columns. Amazon that to your doorstep.




Tuesday

THIS HAPPENED TO FRANÇOIS
by (way of) François


Hitching from Quebec to Montreal. Some guy pulls over, opens the door. On the passenger seat's an aquarium. Guy goes, I can drive you if you don't mind holding the aquarium on your lap. François goes okay, sure, pas de problème. Gets in. Puts the box on his lap. Looks in. Inside the aquarium there's a ginormous African snail. Like huge big. So they're careening down the 20 (sur la 20 pis ça va ben) and driver guy starts on about how he used to share a room with his two sisters and one of the sisters' boyfriend at their parents' place. Sketchy. Totally sketchy. There was some sort of hillbilly disaster. A fire or a flood where everyone died but the snail. Now he carts it around because, he says, it's all that's left of the family.

Driver wouldn't let François out in Montreal, he dropped him off somewhere in Laval. It was December or January or February and François walked home from there. Took like 2 hours.


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François is friends with Melissa's friend Alex. He makes art. After this, he got some snails. But they dried up.